Dear Diary,

I have to remind myself to keep it together.
You don't know the strife it is just to quell the tides.
The situation is getting dangerous.
I try not to get excited, but I can't help myself.
I'm day dreaming about the activities...

even though in reality, they really are just daydreams

Why do I find it so difficult to keep on the ground?
I felt elated around you, and I think you felt it too.
Despite the couple of hours we slept,
I was awake. My mind was quiet. I felt serenity.

But there was a wall we put between us. It wasn't just you, it was me too.

I guess we both have too much unfinished business,
our lives are tumbling.
There's too many variables still. A lot of choices to make,
a path to choose.
A place to live, a spouse to keep, lives to change.

But for that brief moment in time, I was yours, and you were mine.

Maybe that's just what we needed.
To feel that two lost souls could still feel right and needed just for a slice of time.
Maybe that's all it ever is.
...if we're always supposed to feel secure, then we'd be living a delusion.

Sweet delusions. Like dropping M, they are followed by a debatable rude awakening.

I hope to see you again, but if we didn't,
I would still be happy we shared that time. You sure know how to take care of a little lady.

Your face is boyish cute,
but there are small tells of your age.
Not just your white patches of hair,
but the way you stare off...your mind drifting to where you've been.
I asked you what you were thinking, and unsurprisingly
you kept it secret.

That's okay. I have secrets too. My life is a secret.
This blog is a secret.