Bad habit...

I physically couldn't for a month, but now here I am, back again to the same situation.
My mind and experiences tell me of better things...
But my feelings are still there.

The feelings are the same, the only difference is that you're not crazy about me anymore. I'm still crazy about you. Still want you just as bad and want to just feel your presence.

Or maybe I miss the intimacy. Either way, you're a danglin janglin and I'm the dog with it's tongue wagging hoping you throw me a fuckin' bone here! Come on, I've been good haven't I?

I try to tell myself of how I really actually enjoy this agony...That it's all part of the fun. But my Hong Kong blood makes me rush, want results ASAP. I want you to want me!

I get ahead of myself so quickly and easily. It's been not even a day since we saw each other and already feeling the vertigo, the rush and the not knowing and the constant brain whirring and you being all calm while I'm a hurricane!

Oh this is what it is to be alive. Be tortured, not know...always waiting and on the cusp of an answer that never actually comes. I know you'll never satisfy me...but as a person that is fully alive and feels the utmost alive...the dangling treat is what I chase after. After the chase, after you eat...you just wish it lasted longer.

I can't convince myself to chew longer...but once I've swallowed I miss the taste in my mouth.