New Lessons From Wordy Experiences

Peru.

Fleas. Umanchata - the collegio. Nelly, Edgar...Magda. Spanish cathedrals. Street peddlers. Inti Raymi. Green men on stilts. Dancing with said men. The Real McCoy. Trivia Mondays and Wednesdays. Richard. Germans. Learning about the male spirit through German Richard. Being wine and dined...and disappointing German Richard. Feeling guilty about the lackage of spreading of my legs...Getting angry about the guilt, and forgiving German Richard in the morning. $7 wines. Peruvian children. Callanca. Profesora Betty. Missing placement on the last day due to Peruvian cocaine, too much alcohol, and a lusty night with a Slovanian girl.

This is me...and at the same time, not me.

Ice cream (helado). mokas - chocolate. Ritter Sport(!). El Molino. New faces, old faces...all within a month. Allison (german descendant, but from Los Angeles). Linda (Viet from New Orleans). Kim (german from Australia). Lesley (Scotland). Gleb (Russia). Armando (Texas). Zak (North Britain). Cameron (New Zealand). Laura (Australia). Sabrina (Mississauga).

Richard and his deep talks. A walking contradiction - so insightful and deep...but in so hollow of a shell. So knowledgeable, so much knowledge...
But on how to live and respect and accept...so quick and long of a plateau.
Intuition of others in check.
But willingness to change the big, starting from the small...unable.
Showed both kindness and vengeance of a German militant.
Not in love, but shared love for the week we became close. We shared.

That's what love is - sharing.
Sharing your fears, your cares, your dreams and aspirations.
Having someone witness that you are not merely a cocoon for a spirit in metamorphasis - but a being that feels - and wishes.
There is no feeling of being more alive than when you are scared shitless.
You know, being euphoric and "happy"...
All our emotions are just programmed through hormones and chemicals in our brain...

But what came first, the emotion or the juicing of the chemical?
Does it matter?
Does it matter if:

God exists
The chicken or the egg came first
If a good person experiences bad

What matters?
Depends on size. The larger you go, the less matters.

So where do you live?
In your own body...Outside your body...Beside your body...In another town...In the stratosphere...
The ideal place would be all at once.
All encompassing, and willful to accept.