Which voice should I listen to?
There are two spirits running alongside me...They both beckon me to follow them. Like the mightiest of politicians, they have me both hooked.
It's easier to pick one, and never look back. But I'm nostalgic: looking back is a constant activity of mine.
I want you to pick the one that I don't want to pick. If you picked it, I would look at you, dumbfounded and in shock. Happy, but disappointed. We would both know that we were giving up on fun times ahead for the comfort and safety of having each other.
Maybe we can have both. Am I being greedy? I give a lot. I donate to charity, volunteer my time. I think it's justified that I'm allowed to have my cake and eat it too.
Maybe you did sleep with her. Who am I to control you and what you want to do when impulse is staring you in the face. Maybe she was fit. I'm not that fit...Being a foodie sure takes its tole on you. But my mind is fit, and my spirit fitter. It can take anything, and wants to take everything. It wants to feel every emotion life has to offer - the hurt, the love, the ecstasy.
Plus, who's to say that in a month and a half, when I'm back at school and you're still here...I'll meet someone that wants to be monogamous but also still have lives apart. Someone who isn't sex ridden, and okay with a fuck twice a week.
Don't take advantage of me. I know myself better, and think better of myself than to stand for it. You may not pay attention to every little detail, but I do. Know that I'm always watching, listening, thinking...of you.
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